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2012-10-24

Limbo

You know my paper heart the one I filled with pencil marks? I think I might have written your name with a pen and erasing it would be very hard..

Can we stop playing this game? Can we stop pretending? I really do want to know how you feel about me.. Im tired of making my own conclusion. Do you feel the same way? Yes or no? And if you dont feel the same way please stop giving me hope..

Rise Above The Hate

Sometimes I wished that you would be unhappy and then you would leave him.. But I know that would be very wrong. So never shall I pray for you to be unhappy. Will always pray for your happiness even if it kills me.

The Lost Mission

To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you, cause Im afraid that we would drift apart if you knew how I truly feel about you..

Alfred

I was right from the very beginning.. You should have listened to me

I told you so..

Grab a Chair

You are giving me nightmares, and I cant stop dreaming about it.

Why Me?

I am so fucking sick and tired of being the one holding on

2012-09-01

Screwed

Well.. I guess theres no turning back for me now is it?

2012-08-30

Carnage

Please dont take away my happiness. Dont make me regret moving on..

2012-08-26

Just Do It

Well screw gain weight season! I miss working out. Just recovered from my hand injury, need to get my ass back in the game.

2012-08-24

Tattoo

I need someone to hold on to..

2012-08-19

Gates Of Hell

All hell breaks loose, and the devils are back!

2012-08-18

The Fire Rises

She's the girl that I deserve, but not the one that I need right now..

Cerberus

They are coming back..

2012-08-17

Reckoning

Now's not the time for fear...that comes later!

Very Soon

"But happiness will come. And trust me, it's worth the wait."

Two Brothers

Shouldnt have tried to move on. Thats what you get when you try to fuck the system. Im not allowed to move on. Were not meant to.

2012-08-16

Entertainment

Miss my two babies back home..

Ghost Town

Fucking ghost town..

2012-08-15

I Told You So

See! What did I said the other day? I told you, you shouldnt fall for her right? Maybe next time you should listen to me more you stupid piece of cunt! Shes taken, let it go man. Well serve you right idiot!

Stupid heart..

Write Your Future

I don't know how it all started, well actually I don't really know how to start. The dream took place 10 years in the future and the setting took place in a city near the ocean/beach/sea. At that time I was on a business trip, I checked in into a hotel and decided to go sight-seeing around the city. And I went to the mall. As I was walking around the mall, I saw this beautiful lady busy shopping for clothes. I don't know why, but she looks so familiar, I think I've met her somewhere before, and the question is where and when? So I've made up my mind and try to follow her. She was then followed by a young boy, a little girl holding her long skirt and a baby in her arms. I guess those 3 children are her kids. And suddenly it hits me! It's Annie, that girl is Annie! She's Annie! So I went to her and I said, "Annie? Is that you?" As I had guessed, she gave me the who-the-hell-are-you-face. She was still confused of who I am, and I said,"Hey! You don't remember me? It's me! Don't tell me you don't remember me." Then she gave me the I-think-I-know-this-person-from-somewhere-face. A second later, she said,"Danial? Is that you?" Oh thank God she remembers me. And that was how we met after all these years, 10 years to be exact.

It was a bright sunny day, and we went to a Bistro Cafe overlooking the beach, we sat there for a little chat, I mean come on, it has been more than 10 years since we last spoke to each other, I don't think a little chat would do. We sat there for hours talking about our life after high school. We tell stories to each other, laugh till our stomach hurts and stories that brought tears rolling down our cheeks. Memories. That's the word that came to mind. This reminds me of the past that I once had with her, all the joyful and heart-breaking moments. It really reminds me of the past. It really did. "Danial? Danial?? Danial!!" "Huh? What?" Don't tell me I was day dreaming in front of her. "Are you okay?" She said to me. "Owh no, it's nothing. I'm fine really, sorry about that." I replied her. "And where were we just now?" "Owh nothing." I know she wanted to say something but she held back, and great! Now there's an awkward silence between us. Oh damn! I almost forgot about her kids, so I asked her the question "So who's the father?"

She paused. She didn't say a word. She wanted to, but something is holding her back. I know something wasn't right here, so then I said " I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask such a question. My bad.." She replied "Its okay.." I can feel the pain in her voice. Did I say something wrong? Did something happen to her husband? Bahhh!! I'm thinking too much. She then said something to break the awkward silence, and now we're back telling stories to each other. Its getting late and I got an important meeting tomorrow morning. Offered her a ride back home and she accepts the offer without a second thought. We exchange phone numbers and that's that for today. She said that she wants to do this again tomorrow if possible. I would give her a call if I'm not doing anything. I also would really love to do this again. Went back to the hotel with a big smile on my face. Alright! Off to bed. But because I was too happy of today's incident, I can't sleep, I just can't fell asleep. My mind keeps on playing that wonderful moment I had with her this morning. Well that's just great...

To be continued..

Not Again

I think im falling for her. Damn it, fuck! Come on heart, not again...

2012-07-21

Resurrection

Cause I dont wanna love you anymore..

2012-05-30

Novus Ordu Seclorum

I feel like blogging again..

2011-10-10

Ramli

If you want to be a professional footballer, I'll support you bro! be that!
And I believe you can achieve that! Chase after your dream jay!

2011-10-04

Tempest

I still think of her

2011-10-01

Big Bug

Nobody wants a happy ending

Bring It Down

That random flashback which brings back painful memories and breaks your heart all over again

2011-09-30

Selfish

I think I've become a badass heartless motherfucker, I've stop caring about other people's feelings, and I dont really care what happen to them...but still, I'm not bad enough

2011-09-24

Puppeteer

I'm just a puppet, an instrument of death

2011-09-19

Personal Space

I couldn't find the right word to make you stay for awhile longer

2011-09-13

God Emperor

Maybe in a distance, but never in the heart

2011-09-08

Order

What if it never gets better?

2011-09-03

Guide

Son, you are hopeless...

2011-08-31

I Gave Up

Damn you fish! Don't you dare, don't you fucking dare miss her, get over it you fucking asshole! Just fucking move on!! She's not gonna fucking come back to you, so forget about her? Alright? Can you do that fish? Please...I'm tired ok? I'm fucking tired alright, I'm tired of thinking about her, I'm tired of this stupid motherfucking memories that will always come back, I'm tired of wanting to go back, I'm tired of all this shits...Please fish, Please! I beg of you, please stop! Just stop, can you just stop? Just this once? Please...?

2011-08-29

Stitches

There. I did it.
It still look like crap. But I fixed it.
So don't worry heart. I'm not gonna give you to someone new.
Well not now.

Last Stand

And he fights for love like he was the last angel defending the Heavens

2011-08-24

Ocean

She has never been to the beach before

Multiplication

Multiracial society, damn! I miss that

2011-08-23

Piano Station

I miss music

2011-08-20

Mindset

My mind is a horrible place. It is a place of rage, pain, anger, suffering, despair, hatred, vengeance, violence, destruction, chaos, lost hope, broken dreams and even death. It is truly a horrible place. And I think I can be a dark lord or some sort, and a good one!

2011-08-13

Gentlemen Don't

You were and still my favourite melody

2011-08-07

Work Of Art

I've been wounded but I survived

You might not know this bro, but that sentence gave me hope, it really did! Its ok to fall in love again, its ok to get your heart broken again, its ok to fall on your knees again, its ok to cry again, its ok to lose hope, its ok to give up, and its ok to just walk away.

-Jayhan-