If I Needed You

A person who smokes, drinks, goes clubbing and fools around has God in his heart, and you don't. At that point you knew that you have sunk so deep in depression. That person may not be doing all the right things, but at the very least he still got God in his heart. From my point of view he's doing a lot better than me. 

Void Page 3

I'm at my emptiest.

An Old Magic

Have never been the first to let go.. But always the one that keeps holding on.

Tanzanite

"..But I have to go.. I'm sorry.."

Dormant

It's kinda funny that you're the most religious one in the family and at the same time you hated God the most.

Consolation

You ask for forgiveness during the night, but through out the day you curse this life, you curse His plans, you curse His name..

Love Less

This is what it feels like to lose faith in God. Not in your religion, but just Him. You still do what you are commanded to do. You still worship Him, you still pray to Him.. But most of the time you do all those things with so much hate, with so much anger in your heart. 

Nephilim

The very best thing in life is also the most painful memory to reminisce.

Assuage

Life was indeed an adventure when you're around..

Rewrite History

A life where you never left.. That's just something that would never happen now. Tried so hard to relive that dream again each and every night. That's the world I would want to live in. If only I would never have to wake up ever again.. If only I could just leave this stupid reality.

On Winter's Night

They said that if you're having a dream of someone, that means that particular someone is missing you.. If it's true, why would you? Because it's you almost every night. Wished it was true though.. But something that good can't never be the truth. Just another bullshit you would want to believe when you are out of hope I guess..

Beneath My Soul

"Hoping that one day you'll come home to me.. Because I'm tired of being lost."

The Beat The Rhythm

"By sheer circumstances he was bonded to her.. And look at how far he went for her."

Refuse

10,000 is a lot of money and I would lose some of the dividend annually if I took out that kind of amount. The only reason I agreed to it because I was hoping that God will help me.. God will finally grant me my wish. At this point I wonder what would I give, what would I sacrifice for that wish. Lent 500 to a friend, and now 10,000 to a family. What more do I have to do so that God will hear me out?

Forbidden Memories

"You broke him, he apologized."

Lost Light

What better way to break a man than to do it on his birthday. So every year he will be reminded of what he lost that day.

By Fire

I would be lying if I told you that I wasn't waiting the whole day for you to wish me..

Blood On Ice

In your own shitty little world.

Lunar Oracle

I would still come running, despite everything that has happened.. I would still come running to you. 

Limitations

When you keep everything that's bothering you inside, and you faked everything else throughout the whole day for the world to see.. It really kills you at the end of the day. It really eats you up on the inside. Then you decided to stop faking and just stop seeing people.. Because nobody wants to deal with that shit. Nobody wants to hang out with someone that is suffering from depression. There's no point talking about it when people already know. It doesn't help in any way. It doesn't solve the problem, it doesn't make you feel better.. So you shut yourself off from the world. You don't have to fake it, and people don't have to deal with you. Win-win I guess.

Ascendancy

"Was it worth it?" Every second.
"Would you go through it all again?" Every time.

Painful Process

"I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time.."

Wishful Thought

Still hoping it's you and me in the end..

A Monster Calls

You know that your dreams felt as real as it can get when you wake up in tears. Nowadays, good things come from only my dreams. I wished I would never wake up again.. My life's perfect in there.

Ashen One

We sat on the stairs overlooking the entire city. We talked. We fought. We cried. We laughed. Together. Neither of us wants to leave, but you have to.. Because you have someone else waiting for you.

Hear Me

"Sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service.."

My Own World

Could you please tell me all the things I want to hear from you.. Maybe for one last time? Even if it's only just a lie.. Just want to hear you say you love me again..

Still

I have to blame myself because I still love you..

Death Eater

"People are easiest to read when they're hurting."

Self-Inflicted Pain

I blamed myself. I blamed God. I blamed everyone else.. But not her.

Confucius

"Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you."

Burning Legion

Maybe this is just karma. Maybe somehow somewhere I've broke someone like this before. Maybe this is my punishment. To the person I broke.. I'm sorry. I am really sorry. I feel your pain now. It hurts like hell.. But then again, I'm always the one that got hurt in the end.

Best Friend

"She changed but I didn't."

Elliot The Sixth

It weighs heavily on my mind and on my heart. I regret I didn't love you better when I had the chance. I was too busy focusing on things that didn't matter.. Things that won't bring me happiness.

Cruel Mistress

"Don't let her go. Don't let her leave. Make her stay. Please.."

Obscure

There's disappointment, there's anger.. But not hatred.

Mad World

The more I pray, the emptier my words are.

Gaunter O'Dimm

Used to feel good when I'm done praying. Felt like I accomplish something.. But now I feel empty after each obligations. I felt lost, I felt sorrow, I felt defeat. Maybe God is no longer with me, maybe I'm losing my faith. If all of these is the work of the devil, then he clearly did a great job.

Bold Hunter

Better days. Can't remember the last time I had one of those..

Pontiff

"I'm sorry for my promises. I'm sorry for my dreams. I'm sorry for my hopefulness. I'm sorry for my kindness.."

She's Living Life

Things will get a lot worse from here on out..

Obsolete

Promises that won't fade.

Miserable At Best

Fuck 2016

Labyrinth

I will always find myself at your door no matter where I go, or whichever road I took, I will always end up in the same place. Wished that you're still there, wished that you were still in your room, wished that you'd still miss me. 

Nigh Inseparable

If only you could feel the pain that you've caused me.. You will hate me, and you will be disgusted at the though of me. The love you had for me will just fade and it won't grow stronger each and every day. You will stop hoping that I would change my mind and just come back to you. You will curse my name.. If only you could feel what I have felt, you will never be the same person ever again.

Of His Former Self

When your mother told you that you're no longer her favourite son. One of the sharpest knife I have ever felt.. I'm already in great pain, why not just go all the way, no? Well I deserved that actually. Your son might never come back because he found solace in the darkest part of his heart. Maybe something else will rise from his ashes, something worst probably.