Erased

Really tired of feeling like this again and again.. I don't wanna feel like this ever again. I'm exhausted. Trying not to make a big deal out of it, but it's affecting everything. Can't sleep, can't eat, always wake up feeling tired and sluggish. Can't even do my work. I just wanna feel fine again..

Grasping King

Was it a mistake trying to move on? Was it a mistake trying to forget the past? Was it a mistake trying to find someone else? Was it a mistake trying to be happy again? To feel alive again? Was it not the right thing to do? Why am I being punished for it? Is there a choice that will not hurt me? Can I have a moment of peace? Why does it feel like every choice I've made is the wrong one? I really do need Your help, Your guidance. I'm at a standstill.. And I wished to keep moving forward.

Deep And Meaningless

"The depth of your love today will be the depth of your wound tomorrow.."

Death Becomes Him

Every time I saw you, my heart wants to grab hold onto you. Every time I saw your face, my heart reaches out to you. It wants you so bloody much.. Trying so hard to deny what it wants. Forcing this heart of mine to let go and to forget. I'm trying girl.. Please give me a bit more time.

Sinking Garden

Let her go Fish.. If you love her, then let her go.

Familiar Feeling

Though it's not killing me anymore, it still hurts.

Dear David

This heart is still capable of feeling pain.. 

Bear The Brunt

Trying to go through this test, this pain better than I did before. Trying to accept whatever God had plan for me. Trying to be better. Trying to do better. 

Unsent Letters

Trying to say I love you without using the word 'love'..

Don't Touch Me

Damn your smile girl.. It keeps pulling me back.

Anvil

Wanna keep praying for her.. It's the least I could do.

Be Still

Tired of doing the right thing.

Anxious Dream

Lost every fight I've ever been in.

Knife In Her Heart

The waiting game.

Throne Of Angel

"Know when to close the door behind me, but also leave the lights on in case they come home.."

Lovely Thorn

I guess I wasn't the best for her.. I knew that from the very beginning. Never was the best, and I will never be the best.

Father Daughter

I hope she feels protected. I hope she feels safe.

Detachment

Denying what my heart truly wants..

Bittersweet Memory

Lied about the truth so she will stop blaming herself. Lied about my motives and intentions so they will see me as the villain.

Unsung Thoughts

I have the worst of luck..

Silent Words

Did I drive you away? I guess I did..

Unseen

I want her heart.

Orbital Hunt

I'm trying too hard again..

XI

Is this love or lust?

Hierophant

Feels like I'm being punished for loving someone so much.

Sir Cattington

2 years trying to find peace and I'm afraid I'll find it in someone else.. And she could not give what I seek.

Night Call

Is this the right thing to do?

Fish Story

Fuck 2017

29th Park

If they don't love you, know that I am here.. Always.

Miss Home

A girl jokingly called me 'ayang' that one time. I know she was just messing around.. But that one word, it breaks my soul. It really did. Felt like shit the rest of the day realizing that I might never hear you call me that ever again.. 

Return

When your mother wants you home, but you still need time.. A lot more.

Future Unwritten

I guess it's easier to tell them, "I'm here just for the time being.." rather than, "I'm here because I've given up."

Holding Your Shadows Close

Yes, I do, I believe..

That one day I will be..

Where I was, right there..

Right next to you..

Reflected Memory

I talked about us like we were still together..

Apostate

"Have you lost your faith in God?"

Dearly Departed

Maybe God doesn't know this heart..

Wraith

I guess it was a mistake asking God to give you the best. Once you start praying the best for someone, you just might lose them.. Because I know I'm not the best for her. I couldn't promise her an easy life, I couldn't promise that I won't make her cry, I couldn't promise her that I won't hurt her.. The only thing I could promise her was forever.. And that's it. Wished it was enough.. Really wished it was enough..

1000

Sometimes I'm glad that God chose me to feel all this pain instead of you.. Though most of the time I wished we would experience it together.. Those hurtful moments, every time we hurt one another, both of us will feel the pain. We would go through everything that is good and everything that is bad.. Together. "Susah senang bersama.." Remember love?

Reclamation

Maybe one day God would show me mercy..

Valhalla

Half in hope.. Half in agony..

Life-Binder

When I speak to God about how much I miss you, about how much I long for you just doesn't feel enough anymore. Wished you were still here love.. So that I could just tell you myself..

Castle World

Ghost of the past that will forever haunt the fuck out of you.

Soft Spoken Words

They say I looked the happiest whenever I talked about you.. If only they had not told me about it.. Because now I couldn't feel the same like I did before. I just want you to know that I was genuinely happy when I talked about you, well before they told me I looked so happy and alive. Now I can't feel the same because I know the truth.. The girl I talked about is gone now.. She's dead. She's not the same girl I once knew.. She's gone. 

A Journey To Find

a heart, a home, peace and happiness..

Devil's Rejects

A friend of mine asked me about us. She doesn't know neither the truth nor what had happened between us.. But I did tell her the truth. No, I didn't say that you left me and I also didn't say that we are no longer a thing, that we are no longer together. What I told her was that I still love you, I told her that I'm still in love with you.. "Masih sayang." was the exact words I used. In a way it is still the truth.

Perennial

Need to constantly remind myself that I should just take one day at a time..